GARMENTO
Directed by: Michele Maher.
Produced by: Maher.
Written by: Maher.
Director of Photography: Mark Schwatzbard.
Edited by: Andrew Malenda.
Music by: Ed Towney.
Released by: Spanish Moss.
Country of Origin: USA. 90 min. Unrated.
With: David Thornton, Katie MacNichol, Jerry Grayson & Saundra Santiago.

Grindy Malone’s dream has come true, landing a job at the fashion house of Poncho Ramirez. Ramierz is famous for his ‘70s ad campaign, “Peel off my Poncho.” But his latest fashion statement --men’s underwear with a cup--is a dud. Poncho needs a hit to rescue him from financial collapse. Grindy --Grindy because she was born with a big grin--suggests bringing back Poncho’s jeans. Clearly based on the fortunes and follies of Calvin Klein, including satirizing a CK-like ad campaign combining underage youth and S/M, Garmento’s satirical targets are hardly fresh. You don’t have to be the most diehard fashionista to feel that this is so ‘90s. But the major problem is the story. Grindy is so dim that it’s hard to believe she could find her way around New York City, let alone become savvy in any way, lacking any signs of determination or intelligence. Written and performed as if they walked off a sitcom, virtually all the characters are one note. And once her points are made, writer/director Maher has no idea how to end the film and instead settles on an abrupt ending that is out of character. And ironically for a film about an industry that emphasizes appearance, the film’s low budget is so apparent that two separate and unrelated scenes were obviously filmed in the same location. KT
May 30, 2003